2021 (Retroactively)

I continued to experience misery in my sister's house. Walking into the kitchen and turning on the light to have tiny filth cockroaches swarming all around your feet. Trying to store our food in ways that would make any tampering easily evident. My sister forced us to move from room to room at a whim, leaving us disoriented.

I bought Morgan so many gifts, none of which he would ever allow me to give him, even through the mail.

The situation at my sister's house continued to worsen. Most of my data from this time are in the form of screenshots of media I was trying to drown myself in, trying to protect myself from reality. My mental age regression was in full swing, something I only notice in retrospect.

I daydreamed about cars, robots, and sewing. I finally started eating something other than tuna, which resulted in my living off bread and mayo instead, as tuna was too expensive both in finances and my health. My desire to become a train driver was spawned after my mom had to travel back to Texas, only to become stranded when the car was reposessed. She had to take a train home, and told me all about it once she finally got home. I fell in love with it instantly, and have always wanted to have some involvement since. However, we were now completely stranded at my sister's house - the house of torture and abuse. Any sense of danger quickly rose to max levels as our freedom was stripped away immediately, subject to the whims of my sister - who was on and off meth.

I obtained a cot with a blow-up mattress and a tent to allow me some semblance of privacy, some get-away. While we effectively created a small apartment in that room, using a dining table as a kitchen (before they took that away and we used a single shelf) and a camping toilet since we were not allowed to use the kitchen or bathroom anymore. Our AC was repeatedly vandalized and we had to equip several security measures on every entrance into that room. My mom began reaching out to strangers on the internet begging for help, and I began gathering evidence. I got to go outside once or twice in the year, something I cherished deeply and took photos of every time. But outside of those moments, I had to stay in the room. My mom went to work, and I stayed behind to guard the room and Pascal.

Friedrunth passed away due to unknown illness, and I met my spider Leah in July. We gave Leah a large tank and fed her the neverending supply of flies from the house that my nieces and nephews somehow caught in bottles. I met a lot of really cool spiders and fell in love with every single one of them.

My mom and I began working for a local con man, something we hated doing, but had no choice in. We only managed to do so after finally rushing to buy a car. Regaining some slight freedom. I left a security camera on at home constantly keeping an eye on Pascal. The con man never paid us, so we admitedly took his fake apple products as payment and left.

Some more bad things happened that involve my sister mistreating animals that I'd rather not write about...

It seems I had some kind of contact with Neko, as I have profile icons from the time. It appears I was following him on Twitter at this time.

Finally, on October 22nd, we were rescued from the house. We had an uncomfortable experience of being abandoned afterwards, and left in rough shape, but we scraped by. We stayed in one final hotel in Oklahoma, where I was obligated to use my drawings to desperately try to garner attention on our situation and get help. The final plan was to move to Ohio to live with my other sister for a time. We survived by unfortunately selling the fake apple products we took from the con man, something I can't feel too bad about when I was otherwise without a reason to keep going. I survived and I will never apologize or feel guilt over that.

In December, at some point we had to sleep in the car again. Something that broke me for what would have easily been the final time. I left on my own to find a place to lie down, and tried to call Morgan. When I was in desperate need to talk, he didn't pick up the phone. I was brought down reluctantly, and I still refuse to say much more on the subject. A few hours later, Morgan finally returned my call, but I couldn't talk to him. I apologized and hung up. I had previously given him my number, but he didn't save it, so he didn't know it was me calling.

Rank: F-